[ steve, on the other hand, hums his satisfaction. some things must be taken out of their grim context and put into a pleasant one. each one is a victory, dancing, being on time and now, this will have to be the next one. he's not going to give up this endearment ( darling ) so easily.
twelve more minutes, that's the sleep he manages to steal, but each one is sweeter than an hour of forced, restless sleep. when they pass, he turns in her arms, rests his head against her shoulder. ]
[ she counts his breaths and lets her thoughts wander above that steady metronome. in effect, peggy exorcises the pain of the night by staying here with him. it's a satisfaction she might otherwise have hidden, but the marsiva (and the calibrations aboard) have been trying enough -- perhaps satisfaction is what they both now need.
he wakes and he shifts and he turns toward her. peggy curls her fingers against the back of his neck and steadies him in place. she pulls a breath which ruffles his hair. ]
I would have thought you're already well-accustomed to it -- given what mornings aboard the Starstruck are like.
It's nice not to have to device plans to keep you still, for once.
[ his smile is evident now, lips curling against her shoulder. he noses closer, kisses the patch of skin he finds there. it's a quiet sort of comfort. they seem to shift between this and vibrant conversation about fond memories and nature documentaries and steve is fond of all of it, the talkative moments as well as these quieter ones. ]
You okay?
[ these nights only seem to be more difficult as time goes by. ]
[ okay is just about all she is. no better; no worse. but that's an unsatisfactory answer, so instead she bides her time and nuzzles her chin against his temple. he's right because he doesn't need to trick her here. or tussle or wrestle or tug or hug or keep. peggy rolls backward by an inch, pulling him with her until she's nearly on her back and he's nearly on his front -- one half of his torso leaned up against her upper body.
she kisses his crown. it's an easy and familiar gesture, by now. but no less sweet for it. ]
I am now. [ peggy answers. and it's honest enough. ] Another rough night?
[ he doesn't attempt to put on any sort of a brave face, not when the truth is so evident and when he's a rather poor liar. Instead, he shifts when she does until his body nearly covers hers. The first time the dance hall nightmare manifested, when wanda created it from his fears and his regrets, it was a painful blow that made certain his mind was somewhere else in the battle.
It might have been the same here if it weren't for her. But Peggy is right there and he looks up, traces her jawline with his thumb. ]
Much better now.
[ in the world the atroma made for him, he will always try to be there for that dance and he will always miss it.
Here, he made it on time more than once. Awkward dancer but still. ]
[ after a moment or two of his tracings, peggy ducks her chin and catches his thumb with her teeth -- what she offers is little more than a kiss once her featherlight bite scrapes free. the sound is soft but it seems to fill the otherwise quiet room.
she's here. but so is he. funerals and memorials be damned, they still have each other for a little longer. last night's losses make this morning a little bit sweeter. no touch, no breath, no scrap of affection can be taken for granted. ]
Perhaps we should be taking turns.
[ her fingers paint invisible lines along his back. ]
[ it's an emotional process, deal with a loss each night only to wake up for a reunion but steve wouldn't trade it for anything else. he knows what lays down the other path, the shallow, morbid sense of grief that he tries not to think about anymore. he did a much better job focusing on how vivid she is before he had to remember her funeral each and every night.
her suggestion or perhaps the fleeting touch of her fingers draw a content sigh. he can feel her heartbeat , steady as it is and for a moment he thinks the rhythm might lull back to sleep again. ]
Are you sure it's in your best interest?
[ this arrangement might mean more than the usual stolen twenty minutes in bed. ]
[ plenty, she knows. last time they'd been taken onto the marsiva, little secrets had made themselves known -- and not the sorts from inside others' heads. if she refrains from telling him so now, then it's only because she knows he'll exhaust himself trying to tear every wall apart.
and peggy -- well, she's not yet convinced those breadcrumbs aren't a trail left behind on purpose just to enervate them. so she keeps it to herself. ]
[ which is more of a compliment than a complain. trust a sharp, clever mind to find something to do even here. however, whatever it is, it could stand to wait a few more minutes, surely. he lifts himself on one elbow, eyeing her. ]
Alright, tomorrow morning, same time. it's a date.
[ he smiles, brushes a few hair strands away from her cheek. ]
[ a date. she nearly confirms -- wry and unimpressed. but she'd agreed to it; hell, she welcomes it. and although she can't say so in hard real words, she misses something found in their mornings together aboard the starstruck. they aren't perfect and she doesn't always enjoy being pulled and kept and barred from getting on with her day. but they are far far far better than being lonely.
her nose crinkles when he turns sentimental again. ]
You're hardly impartial.
[ but the compliment is nice enough. she'd never be caught lingering with anyone else with so little polish put in place. even if that polish is simply combat boots and a practical plait. ]
[ though whenever he relents so easily he also offers some sort of sassy commentary. Today isn't different. Steve could tell her he thinks her most beautiful without her armor, he could probably be bolder and add and fewer clothes and get away with murder.
Instead, he leans in, bumps his nose against hers. ]
If you're really doubting me, we could take a poll.
[ her response begins as a grumble -- moody and contrarian, in spite of how honey-sweet the morning's been thus far. peggy knows he's got his sights set on riling her.
(it's working.)
for months, now, he's been coiling his arguments around the absurd idea that they should treat their relationship like a public thing: to be announced, alluded to, acknowledged. and peggy has taken small steps to that end. but does it really matter? anyone whose opinion they care about already knows and doesn't need to be told. and if there's someone left in the dark, they soon won't be once the nightly dream-rooms get through with them. ]
We could. [ she huffs, tweaking the cuff of his ear. his head stays near; she looks him in his eyes. ] But we won't. You won't.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
action »
Date: 2017-06-18 05:06 pm (UTC)twelve more minutes, that's the sleep he manages to steal, but each one is sweeter than an hour of forced, restless sleep. when they pass, he turns in her arms, rests his head against her shoulder. ]
you know, you're risking me getting used to this.
action »
Date: 2017-06-18 05:27 pm (UTC)he wakes and he shifts and he turns toward her. peggy curls her fingers against the back of his neck and steadies him in place. she pulls a breath which ruffles his hair. ]
I would have thought you're already well-accustomed to it -- given what mornings aboard the Starstruck are like.
[ a little purposefully obtuse, perhaps. ]
action »
Date: 2017-06-18 07:53 pm (UTC)[ his smile is evident now, lips curling against her shoulder. he noses closer, kisses the patch of skin he finds there. it's a quiet sort of comfort. they seem to shift between this and vibrant conversation about fond memories and nature documentaries and steve is fond of all of it, the talkative moments as well as these quieter ones. ]
You okay?
[ these nights only seem to be more difficult as time goes by. ]
action »
Date: 2017-06-18 11:03 pm (UTC)she kisses his crown. it's an easy and familiar gesture, by now. but no less sweet for it. ]
I am now. [ peggy answers. and it's honest enough. ] Another rough night?
action »
Date: 2017-06-19 04:46 am (UTC)[ he doesn't attempt to put on any sort of a brave face, not when the truth is so evident and when he's a rather poor liar. Instead, he shifts when she does until his body nearly covers hers. The first time the dance hall nightmare manifested, when wanda created it from his fears and his regrets, it was a painful blow that made certain his mind was somewhere else in the battle.
It might have been the same here if it weren't for her. But Peggy is right there and he looks up, traces her jawline with his thumb. ]
Much better now.
[ in the world the atroma made for him, he will always try to be there for that dance and he will always miss it.
Here, he made it on time more than once. Awkward dancer but still. ]
action »
Date: 2017-06-19 06:29 pm (UTC)she's here. but so is he. funerals and memorials be damned, they still have each other for a little longer. last night's losses make this morning a little bit sweeter. no touch, no breath, no scrap of affection can be taken for granted. ]
Perhaps we should be taking turns.
[ her fingers paint invisible lines along his back. ]
Tomorrow, you can come and 'wake' me up.
action »
Date: 2017-06-21 06:29 pm (UTC)her suggestion or perhaps the fleeting touch of her fingers draw a content sigh. he can feel her heartbeat , steady as it is and for a moment he thinks the rhythm might lull back to sleep again. ]
Are you sure it's in your best interest?
[ this arrangement might mean more than the usual stolen twenty minutes in bed. ]
action »
Date: 2017-06-23 11:40 am (UTC)[ plenty, she knows. last time they'd been taken onto the marsiva, little secrets had made themselves known -- and not the sorts from inside others' heads. if she refrains from telling him so now, then it's only because she knows he'll exhaust himself trying to tear every wall apart.
and peggy -- well, she's not yet convinced those breadcrumbs aren't a trail left behind on purpose just to enervate them. so she keeps it to herself. ]
Might as well spend it with you.
action »
Date: 2017-06-23 06:38 pm (UTC)[ which is more of a compliment than a complain. trust a sharp, clever mind to find something to do even here. however, whatever it is, it could stand to wait a few more minutes, surely. he lifts himself on one elbow, eyeing her. ]
Alright, tomorrow morning, same time. it's a date.
[ he smiles, brushes a few hair strands away from her cheek. ]
You look nice.
action »
Date: 2017-06-24 01:12 pm (UTC)her nose crinkles when he turns sentimental again. ]
You're hardly impartial.
[ but the compliment is nice enough. she'd never be caught lingering with anyone else with so little polish put in place. even if that polish is simply combat boots and a practical plait. ]
action »
Date: 2017-06-27 08:27 pm (UTC)[ though whenever he relents so easily he also offers some sort of sassy commentary. Today isn't different. Steve could tell her he thinks her most beautiful without her armor, he could probably be bolder and add and fewer clothes and get away with murder.
Instead, he leans in, bumps his nose against hers. ]
If you're really doubting me, we could take a poll.
action »
Date: 2017-06-27 08:50 pm (UTC)(it's working.)
for months, now, he's been coiling his arguments around the absurd idea that they should treat their relationship like a public thing: to be announced, alluded to, acknowledged. and peggy has taken small steps to that end. but does it really matter? anyone whose opinion they care about already knows and doesn't need to be told. and if there's someone left in the dark, they soon won't be once the nightly dream-rooms get through with them. ]
We could. [ she huffs, tweaking the cuff of his ear. his head stays near; she looks him in his eyes. ] But we won't. You won't.
[ don't you even dare. ]