[ she grabs his hand. and, in what appears to be at first a bold move betrays itself as something altogether different when she settles his warm palm against her abdomen's scar. ]
For one, I keep forgetting this has healed up. I catch myself favouring the side of me while I walk or grab for things -- not realizing there's nothing there to favour.
[ he splays his palm above the scar, tracing it with a finger. he doesn't have a single one, himself. even the scars he had before the serum were healed by it. peggy's different but steve thinks of each one of them as a token of what he loves best about her, strong ideals and nerve to match. ]
[ she skirts her answer with care and caution. it's honest, all the same. it flirts with the edge of raw and reminds her that there is so much she hasn't told him -- hasn't dared to. some things seemed easiest not to say. ]
I catch myself forgetting you're more than merely a memory. [ but his touch helps. and so does the heat of his skin when she noses against his brow. ] And that thinking about you doesn't need to come with so much sting in every thought.
[ he shifts, stretches an arm beneath her and tugging her closer against him. He knows that particular notion, at least. His own surge of memories sent him into a reclusive mess all those months ago. She's handling the dissonance much better than he had at the time. ]
Anything I can do?
[ for him, at the time, the best cure was moments like these; her quiet embrace and her presence but he knows better than assuming they are exactly alike in that regard. ]
[ being wrapped up in him with such a tangle that she can't be certain where one of them ends and the next begins. it's precisely the sort of intimacy that would have spooked her off a year ago. it comes back to her, now, like second nature and reminds her that here is where she's meant to be.
for the time being. until the atroma see fit to spit her back out into the harsh light of home. ]
It makes sense, this.
[ more sense than the mess waiting for her back in california. ]
[ it's one of the only things that truly frighten him, the day the atroma will decide their heartbreak is much more interesting than their romance and she'll be stolen away from him or he would be from her. what was once a thought about all that could be is now very vivid in his arms. steve knows that given a thought, he would fight every battle to stay by her side, to not part from her for a single now, not now when he has a clear idea of what they'll be missing.
he remembers burrowing into her, leaning against her in his old room, on his much smaller bed and how that alone had chased away tension and pain and heartbreak. he kisses her shoulder and nods. ]
[ when everything else around them still manages to make her skin crawl (the atroma, the planets, the pinging back and forth between memories) it's him what remains a constant blessing between it all. as she'd said: it makes sense. snuggled here, with him. ]
Back in '47, it's -- shambolic. [ the ssr. her friendships. her relationships. ] It's easier here with you. I suppose I should feel ashamed of preferring space over home.
[ it's a predictable answer but one he's glad to finally out to words. steve's life has been a puzzle he's been trying to put together since 2012. it's all different, here, everything fall into just the right place. there are concerns and troubles - questioning thoughts that simply do not linger here. ]
i've been trying to recreate the concept of feeling at home since they pulled me out of the ice.
I never bothered. [ to recreate home. she left what was familiar and home-like behind. only... ]
No. That's not quite honest. I moved to New York, after all. [ and peggy had never put this to words before. not exactly. she wets her lips and leans her cheek against the top of his head. ] I can't say I landed there by accident, can I?
[ he offers, one bit in favor of another. he will tell her about that in years and years to come, for her but it makes all the difference telling her that now, too. ]
I know for a fact that wasn't accidental.
[ he didn't agree because of any argument fury had made; it was always just because of her, because it was her legacy he was helping to uphold.
[ now. there's a knot. peggy squirms a moment, evidently uncomfortable with this initial topic. she knows so little of shield except for what steve and his fellow once-avengers have shared with her. but, on top of that, she'd heard a great deal else from agent fitz.
peggy bites her bottom lip. she doesn't want to say it. and yet. ]
And apparently I named it SHIELD. [ peggy traces a shape -- shield-like -- on the back of his neck. ] Odd bit of sentimentality, that. Sounds unlike me.
[ but honestly, he never really gave it much thought. SHIELD was always just that and steve didn't think that there was any reason behind the name. he never asked peggy about it in their conversation, either. he wasn't sure she'd remember and he never wanted to upset her, either. ]
took me a while to memorize it, really.
[ it's a jest, of course. his memory was always sharp. ]</small.
Strategic Homeland Intervention Enforcement and Logistics Division.
[ she recites it with care. peggy's known the words for near two years -- indeed, that's about as long as she's been in the fleet. her nose crinkles by the end.
and she admits: ] It's a mouthful. A clumsy mouthful. Even so, I'd wager good credits that you remembered it straight away. Cheeky bastard.
[ he makes it sound so dramatic, as usual but it's a poor joke, seeing as he's still smiling through the complaint. He shifts, kisses her chin first, then her cheek. ]
[ oh she would love to come up with something witty and playful and false. but the augment glitch does its work, dragging a 'helpful' answer out of her: ] Logistics.
[ she growls, indignant, in the wake of it. a fine distraction is found in kissing his mouth a moment. brief. ]
Are we certain I did the naming? Can't we blame someone else?
[ his nose bumps against hers and if his kisses become a degree fiercer, if his fingers escape her own to travel up her side beneath the cotton of her shirt, it's surely to lift her mood. surely.
she's not going to let him get away with it but it's worth a try. ]
[ evidently, she's got no interest in discussing fury or tony. her fingers stay tight on his arm -- but her thumb, at least, traces a gentle arc beneath his sleeve. ]
Your wandering hands.
[ she calls them what they are. ]
Just because you got away with it after you woke up from your slumber doesn't mean that history will repeat itself.
[ she's got a firm hold of one arm, the other does indeed wander, nudging her to trace the familiar line of her spine and once again, beneath her shirt. he hums, places a rather loving kiss against her jaw. ]
I remember a very wise woman saying 'everything is a precedent.'
[ look at him! wielding her own logic against her. her lip curls -- but not with any real derision. there's something charming in the way he plies the argument. not least of all because he's arguing in the first place. ]
[ it's light and playful, same as his touch. it's barely there, really - fleeting and just a bit too soft. he knows better than aim for a firmer one too quickly, especially now, especially here. ]
It was a very good observation.
[ and he pushes her a bit for good measure, moving the palm that's still trapped in her hold upwards, he doesn't shake her hand, simply traps them both near her shoulder. ]
[ peggy doesn't know whether to clock him or kiss him -- the way he takes her words, said at a time when she could have lied all she wanted, and makes her eat them. peggy's fingers squirm against his hand as if she might somehow keep him stilled.
it seems her expressions must be honest, too, because she smiles. ]
It was a mediocre observation at best. But it suits you, just now, to say otherwise.
I never said it was mediocre, not once. you can't blame me for taking things out of perspective when I could have been thinking it was damn brilliant at the time, too.
[ but she's not wrong, it does work wonderfully for him now. it's convenient and easy and hell, it makes her smile. ]
it suited you at the time. might as well make it suit for me. only fair.
[ she hisses, leaning in to nose against his cheek and maybe hide from his eyes (for once) as she feels true words bubble up the back of her tongue. ] I suspect you know exactly how fragile the 'rule' really is. Give it a shove and it'll crumble.
[ give her a shove and she'll crumble, she means. but she's never said so before -- always hiding behind a guise of self-control and easy denial. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2017-09-05 09:33 pm (UTC)For one, I keep forgetting this has healed up. I catch myself favouring the side of me while I walk or grab for things -- not realizing there's nothing there to favour.
no subject
Date: 2017-09-06 07:35 pm (UTC)What else?
no subject
Date: 2017-09-06 09:09 pm (UTC)[ she skirts her answer with care and caution. it's honest, all the same. it flirts with the edge of raw and reminds her that there is so much she hasn't told him -- hasn't dared to. some things seemed easiest not to say. ]
I catch myself forgetting you're more than merely a memory. [ but his touch helps. and so does the heat of his skin when she noses against his brow. ] And that thinking about you doesn't need to come with so much sting in every thought.
no subject
Date: 2017-09-07 05:12 am (UTC)Anything I can do?
[ for him, at the time, the best cure was moments like these; her quiet embrace and her presence but he knows better than assuming they are exactly alike in that regard. ]
no subject
Date: 2017-09-07 12:01 pm (UTC)[ being wrapped up in him with such a tangle that she can't be certain where one of them ends and the next begins. it's precisely the sort of intimacy that would have spooked her off a year ago. it comes back to her, now, like second nature and reminds her that here is where she's meant to be.
for the time being. until the atroma see fit to spit her back out into the harsh light of home. ]
It makes sense, this.
[ more sense than the mess waiting for her back in california. ]
no subject
Date: 2017-09-08 08:14 pm (UTC)he remembers burrowing into her, leaning against her in his old room, on his much smaller bed and how that alone had chased away tension and pain and heartbreak. he kisses her shoulder and nods. ]
it really does.
no subject
Date: 2017-09-08 09:04 pm (UTC)Back in '47, it's -- shambolic. [ the ssr. her friendships. her relationships. ] It's easier here with you. I suppose I should feel ashamed of preferring space over home.
no subject
Date: 2017-09-08 09:47 pm (UTC)[ it's a predictable answer but one he's glad to finally out to words. steve's life has been a puzzle he's been trying to put together since 2012. it's all different, here, everything fall into just the right place. there are concerns and troubles - questioning thoughts that simply do not linger here. ]
i've been trying to recreate the concept of feeling at home since they pulled me out of the ice.
no subject
Date: 2017-09-08 09:51 pm (UTC)No. That's not quite honest. I moved to New York, after all. [ and peggy had never put this to words before. not exactly. she wets her lips and leans her cheek against the top of his head. ] I can't say I landed there by accident, can I?
no subject
Date: 2017-09-08 09:58 pm (UTC)[ he offers, one bit in favor of another. he will tell her about that in years and years to come, for her but it makes all the difference telling her that now, too. ]
I know for a fact that wasn't accidental.
[ he didn't agree because of any argument fury had made; it was always just because of her, because it was her legacy he was helping to uphold.
in the end, it's why he took it apart, too. ]
no subject
Date: 2017-09-08 10:05 pm (UTC)peggy bites her bottom lip. she doesn't want to say it. and yet. ]
And apparently I named it SHIELD. [ peggy traces a shape -- shield-like -- on the back of his neck. ] Odd bit of sentimentality, that. Sounds unlike me.
no subject
Date: 2017-09-08 10:10 pm (UTC)[ but honestly, he never really gave it much thought. SHIELD was always just that and steve didn't think that there was any reason behind the name. he never asked peggy about it in their conversation, either. he wasn't sure she'd remember and he never wanted to upset her, either. ]
took me a while to memorize it, really.
[ it's a jest, of course. his memory was always sharp. ]</small.
no subject
Date: 2017-09-08 11:36 pm (UTC)[ she recites it with care. peggy's known the words for near two years -- indeed, that's about as long as she's been in the fleet. her nose crinkles by the end.
and she admits: ] It's a mouthful. A clumsy mouthful. Even so, I'd wager good credits that you remembered it straight away. Cheeky bastard.
[ don't play pretend with her, steve rogers. ]
no subject
Date: 2017-09-09 09:48 am (UTC)[ he makes it sound so dramatic, as usual but it's a poor joke, seeing as he's still smiling through the complaint. He shifts, kisses her chin first, then her cheek. ]
What does the L stand for again?
no subject
Date: 2017-09-09 11:01 am (UTC)[ she growls, indignant, in the wake of it. a fine distraction is found in kissing his mouth a moment. brief. ]
Are we certain I did the naming? Can't we blame someone else?
no subject
Date: 2017-09-09 01:40 pm (UTC)[ his nose bumps against hers and if his kisses become a degree fiercer, if his fingers escape her own to travel up her side beneath the cotton of her shirt, it's surely to lift her mood. surely.
she's not going to let him get away with it but it's worth a try. ]
it's not like the Avengers is much better.
no subject
Date: 2017-09-09 01:46 pm (UTC)[ her hand curls against his bicep; she gives his arm a shove and shifts gears long enough to mutter a whispered: ] Oi, now, what's all this about?
[ oh she knows what all this is about. ]
no subject
Date: 2017-09-09 02:00 pm (UTC)[ it's a dry, huffy, humored complaint when she shoves at his arm. ]
what's what about?
[ it's a supposedly innocent question. at least he isn't trying to touch her again, not just yet. ]
no subject
Date: 2017-09-09 02:35 pm (UTC)Your wandering hands.
[ she calls them what they are. ]
Just because you got away with it after you woke up from your slumber doesn't mean that history will repeat itself.
no subject
Date: 2017-09-09 02:40 pm (UTC)[ she's got a firm hold of one arm, the other does indeed wander, nudging her to trace the familiar line of her spine and once again, beneath her shirt. he hums, places a rather loving kiss against her jaw. ]
I remember a very wise woman saying 'everything is a precedent.'
no subject
Date: 2017-09-09 04:06 pm (UTC)Oh, I'm not so sure she was so wise in the end.
no subject
Date: 2017-09-09 04:18 pm (UTC)[ it's light and playful, same as his touch. it's barely there, really - fleeting and just a bit too soft. he knows better than aim for a firmer one too quickly, especially now, especially here. ]
It was a very good observation.
[ and he pushes her a bit for good measure, moving the palm that's still trapped in her hold upwards, he doesn't shake her hand, simply traps them both near her shoulder. ]
no subject
Date: 2017-09-09 04:27 pm (UTC)it seems her expressions must be honest, too, because she smiles. ]
It was a mediocre observation at best. But it suits you, just now, to say otherwise.
no subject
Date: 2017-09-09 04:33 pm (UTC)[ but she's not wrong, it does work wonderfully for him now. it's convenient and easy and hell, it makes her smile. ]
it suited you at the time. might as well make it suit for me. only fair.
no subject
Date: 2017-09-09 04:42 pm (UTC)[ she hisses, leaning in to nose against his cheek and maybe hide from his eyes (for once) as she feels true words bubble up the back of her tongue. ] I suspect you know exactly how fragile the 'rule' really is. Give it a shove and it'll crumble.
[ give her a shove and she'll crumble, she means. but she's never said so before -- always hiding behind a guise of self-control and easy denial. ]
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