[ this reminds him of the time Bucky caught him sneaking out to work on the coldest day of the year and he has heard a scolding for the better part of the following three days. he gives him a little look and sits down, as instructed. ]
[ A deep inhale, readying himself for this conversation, and a steadying breath. Centering his focus. Bucky opens the small locker, pulling a backpack out and setting it on the top once he's closed it with a foot. ]
I know about Ultron. [ His attention flicks to Steve's face briefly. ] And I know about what happens after.
I also know that you've been looking for me, and that it takes you three years.
[ Unzipping the backpack, he rifles through it and pulls out a black journal. He deliberates, though it's brief, before placing it on the bed next to Steve. ]
I got these from the tree before we left the planet.
[ If he takes the time to pick up the slightly battered journal and leafs through it, it's filled front to back with memories, some in full detail, while others are merely like lists, scribbled out and put back together again as he pieced together the shattered bits of his life. ]
Wouldn't have taken me so long if you weren't so stubborn.
[ said with a hint of a smile as he reaches for the journal, skimming through the pages. it reads almost like a dream journal, some of them seem clear, others vague and confused but they are there, right there in black and white, a whole history and some parts that Steve himself - ]
I didn't know about the after.
[ but he knows someone who did. ]
Wanda did.
[ he doesn't close the journal just yet, he pauses on a memory before looking up at him ]
After Insight, when I was on the run.. I was scared to death that I'd forget again, or they'd find me, wipe my memory again. Writing it down was my way of making sure--
[ He pauses, swallowing the lump in his throat. It's still a very real possibility somewhere in the future, though he hopes not. ]
That if I forgot, they wouldn't get lost.
[ Some of the memories were far worse than others, but he still wrote them down. The missions, the people he killed. He wouldn't forget them. It would be a disservice. ]
[ not again. there is hardly any limit to the lengths Steve would go to in order to make sure HYDRA will never lay a hand on anyone but the limit is barely there at all when it comes to Bucky. He failed him the first time, he isn't about to let it happen again. ]
You know that. Whatever fight they would have looked for, I'd fight it right alongside you.
You wouldn't, I know. But I didn't have anybody to fall back on, when I wrote them.
[ He inhales. Lets it out through his nose. Bucky treads this next part carefully. It's a thing he didn't want known, but a conversation with Wanda made him change his mind. ]
Which leads me into what we really need to talk about.. Something happened, back home. So far, it's only Wanda, Vision, and myself that remember. When everyone else does... It's not going to be good.
-- Do you think they're doing it gradually? first you and Wanda, Vision - then the rest of us?
[ he frowns a bit. Wanda had told him the future is not good but seemed to feel relieved when he assured her she doesn't have to be the one telling him. Vision said nothing but Steve doesn't blame him, he is practical to the bone and if he thought nothing good will come out of it -
but Bucky seems to think ahead of all of them and probably rightfully so. ]
Well, it's not going to be pretty. The UN is going to put together legislation because of what happened in Sokovia and later in Lagos. It makes it so that the Avengers have to answer to a board before accepting missions. To make everyone accountable.
[ Bucky moves to lean against the wall. This is doing to be a trial. ]
There's going to be a final hearing in Vienna. Sunshine's going to bomb it and frame me for it. The king of Wakanda is going to die.
[ quite a task to do when the winter soldier has a reputation for killing and orchestrating such events. Steve hums, thinks of it and shakes his head. ]
We can't answer to a board. We've agreed to take down SHIELD exactly because we never know what are the agendas of the people above us. It'll be like taking two steps back.
Steve, a hundred and seventeen countries approved it. It's a bigger deal than just answering to a board. [ He shakes his head. ] This is where the problem is. You're against it. Stark's going to try to get you to sign. It's going to cause a lot of fucking problems. It's just what he wants.
[ God, this is already a mess. He knew it was a bad idea to tell Steve. ]
The one who framed me for it only did it to smoke me out. He's going to cause more problems to cause a rift between you and Stark.
--- Tony only approved of his mess because he blames himself for Ultron. We're past that. It's no reason for us to let a higher organization made by politicians run the Avengers. The last time we answered to an organization, I found out I've been working for HYDRA all along.
[ Tony will have to see sense, somehow. ]
This is just letting more people like Pierce a chance of having a say in what we do.
We can argue about it all damn day, but the fact of the matter is I'm telling you what's going to happen. Zemo gets what he wanted, he fucked you over, fucked Stark over, and got the Avengers to disband.
[ There's an ugly sort of anger moving just beneath his skin, and Bucky clams up, trying to quell the beast. He's angry at Steve for being so damned good. Angry at himself for his inability to calmly fucking explain this, and that small bit of programming still trying to sink its claws in him.
He will not defend HYDRA or Pierce, but god how he wants to make a snide comment about the matter. Must have been tough, huh? It's not fair to Steve, it's really not. He means well. ]
We're not going to disband here. Tony and I - we'll work things out, we always do. The Avengers will stay together, there's a bigger cause here than a rift created because of a madman.
[ like the Atroma and going home and - ]
If it happened, then it happened. I can't change it. But we can still do something about things here. We'll not let the Sokovia Accords get between us. He's not here, he can't get to us.
Once he knows, the result is the same. I mean once he knows everything. You can't always predict what people will do, Steve.
[ He doesn't mean to, but Bucky lets out a hollow bark of laughter, shaking his head. It's bitter and unfriendly. ]
We don't need him to be here to get to us. [ He taps on the augment behind his ear. ] Not when they can fuck with us just as well. They proved that before Zemo did a fucking thing.
I can't give up on my friendship with Tony. You're right. I can't predict what will happen, not by a long shot but I can make sure Tony understands I'm not about to let this ruin things too, at least not on my end.
[ he thinks about it and adds ]
It's obvious it's what I should have done to begin with.
[ a weird thing, to talk about the future in past tense but he has no time to think about the paradox here. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
action;
Date: 2016-08-06 09:48 pm (UTC)I'm listening.
action;
Date: 2016-08-06 09:54 pm (UTC)I know about Ultron. [ His attention flicks to Steve's face briefly. ] And I know about what happens after.
action;
Date: 2016-08-06 10:01 pm (UTC)[ Steve frowns a little. His eyes follow Winter, focusing on the backpack for a moment. he has a feeling that he is missing a puzzle piece here. ]
You - know?
[ he gives him a little look, trying to figure out the know part. ]
action;
Date: 2016-08-06 10:12 pm (UTC)[ Unzipping the backpack, he rifles through it and pulls out a black journal. He deliberates, though it's brief, before placing it on the bed next to Steve. ]
I got these from the tree before we left the planet.
[ If he takes the time to pick up the slightly battered journal and leafs through it, it's filled front to back with memories, some in full detail, while others are merely like lists, scribbled out and put back together again as he pieced together the shattered bits of his life. ]
action;
Date: 2016-08-09 08:13 pm (UTC)[ said with a hint of a smile as he reaches for the journal, skimming through the pages. it reads almost like a dream journal, some of them seem clear, others vague and confused but they are there, right there in black and white, a whole history and some parts that Steve himself - ]
I didn't know about the after.
[ but he knows someone who did. ]
Wanda did.
[ he doesn't close the journal just yet, he pauses on a memory before looking up at him ]
do you remember any of this?
action;
Date: 2016-08-09 10:36 pm (UTC)[ He pauses, swallowing the lump in his throat. It's still a very real possibility somewhere in the future, though he hopes not. ]
That if I forgot, they wouldn't get lost.
[ Some of the memories were far worse than others, but he still wrote them down. The missions, the people he killed. He wouldn't forget them. It would be a disservice. ]
action;
Date: 2016-08-11 05:29 pm (UTC)[ not again. there is hardly any limit to the lengths Steve would go to in order to make sure HYDRA will never lay a hand on anyone but the limit is barely there at all when it comes to Bucky. He failed him the first time, he isn't about to let it happen again. ]
You know that. Whatever fight they would have looked for, I'd fight it right alongside you.
Re: action;
Date: 2016-08-11 05:40 pm (UTC)[ He inhales. Lets it out through his nose. Bucky treads this next part carefully. It's a thing he didn't want known, but a conversation with Wanda made him change his mind. ]
Which leads me into what we really need to talk about.. Something happened, back home. So far, it's only Wanda, Vision, and myself that remember. When everyone else does... It's not going to be good.
action;
Date: 2016-08-11 05:55 pm (UTC)[ he frowns a bit. Wanda had told him the future is not good but seemed to feel relieved when he assured her she doesn't have to be the one telling him. Vision said nothing but Steve doesn't blame him, he is practical to the bone and if he thought nothing good will come out of it -
but Bucky seems to think ahead of all of them and probably rightfully so. ]
action;
Date: 2016-08-11 06:29 pm (UTC)[ It's not really a tell of how ready for the Accords he is, but if he knows anything, it might be a good preparation. ]
About how the UN is dealing with what happened in Sokovia?
action;
Date: 2016-08-11 06:38 pm (UTC)[ but that's as much as he has. as for Sokovia, well. ]
I remember Sokovia. With SHIELD gone, I guess we had to deal with UN ourselves. These things used to be Fury's area.
action
Date: 2016-08-11 06:48 pm (UTC)[ Bucky moves to lean against the wall. This is doing to be a trial. ]
There's going to be a final hearing in Vienna. Sunshine's going to bomb it and frame me for it. The king of Wakanda is going to die.
action
Date: 2016-08-12 03:36 pm (UTC)[ quite a task to do when the winter soldier has a reputation for killing and orchestrating such events. Steve hums, thinks of it and shakes his head. ]
We can't answer to a board. We've agreed to take down SHIELD exactly because we never know what are the agendas of the people above us. It'll be like taking two steps back.
action
Date: 2016-08-12 03:46 pm (UTC)[ God, this is already a mess. He knew it was a bad idea to tell Steve. ]
The one who framed me for it only did it to smoke me out. He's going to cause more problems to cause a rift between you and Stark.
action
Date: 2016-08-12 03:50 pm (UTC)[ Tony will have to see sense, somehow. ]
This is just letting more people like Pierce a chance of having a say in what we do.
action
Date: 2016-08-12 04:14 pm (UTC)[ There's an ugly sort of anger moving just beneath his skin, and Bucky clams up, trying to quell the beast. He's angry at Steve for being so damned good. Angry at himself for his inability to calmly fucking explain this, and that small bit of programming still trying to sink its claws in him.
He will not defend HYDRA or Pierce, but god how he wants to make a snide comment about the matter. Must have been tough, huh? It's not fair to Steve, it's really not. He means well. ]
action
Date: 2016-08-12 04:17 pm (UTC)[ like the Atroma and going home and - ]
If it happened, then it happened. I can't change it. But we can still do something about things here. We'll not let the Sokovia Accords get between us. He's not here, he can't get to us.
action
Date: 2016-08-12 04:30 pm (UTC)[ He doesn't mean to, but Bucky lets out a hollow bark of laughter, shaking his head. It's bitter and unfriendly. ]
We don't need him to be here to get to us. [ He taps on the augment behind his ear. ] Not when they can fuck with us just as well. They proved that before Zemo did a fucking thing.
action
Date: 2016-08-12 05:41 pm (UTC)[ he thinks about it and adds ]
It's obvious it's what I should have done to begin with.
[ a weird thing, to talk about the future in past tense but he has no time to think about the paradox here. ]
action
Date: 2016-08-12 05:50 pm (UTC)Just-- [ He sighs, dragging a hand through his hair before looking seriously at Steve. ]
Be careful.
action
Date: 2016-08-12 05:53 pm (UTC)You know me. always careful.
[ ok, he's definitely being a punk but it's better than all this sadness ]
action
Date: 2016-08-12 06:08 pm (UTC)[ He rolls his eyes, crouching down so he can reach under the bed. He pulls out a bottle of a planet's version of Fireball, and two glasses. ]
Pour us a drink, punk. We deserve it.
action
Date: 2016-08-12 06:16 pm (UTC)[ said with a huff of something akin to laughter but he pours two glasses of the stuff anyway ]
action
Date: 2016-08-12 06:20 pm (UTC)[ Once Steve has the glasses, he sits on the floor with his back against the bed frame and takes one of the drinks. ]
Cheers.
action
Date: 2016-08-12 08:09 pm (UTC)[ he takes a long swig of the drink and cringes ]
--- it's definitely not about the taste.
[ good grief ]
action
From:action
From:action
From:action
From:action
From:action
From:action
From:action
From:action
From:action
From:action
From:action
From:action
From:action
From:action
From:action
From:action
From:action
From:action
From: