[ but this is turning out to be a rather fun guessing game of a sort. He stats where he is, draped across her body, arms around her and lips once again against her neck. ]
I'm not even sure I would noticed if you will. That's a bit counterproductive.
[ -- it's a bit of a desperate move. she's avoiding her recent tendency to be honest, knowing full well the answer she gives all on her own is one that will betray other things. a disregard for certain rules, for one.
[ she grabs him by his chin and tilts his head upward. peggy leans in, captures a kiss that she lets linger and settle between them for a heartbeat before withdrawing. but her nose stays nearly pressed to his. ]
[ he's sorely tempted to steal another but seems to know better. If he does she might accuse him ( and rightly so ) of being greedy and refuse the whole thing. ]
[ tilted so near, her eyes shift to keep focus on his -- one at a time, and her attention darts between them. ]
I don't know. [ she hems and haws. ] It seems like a terribly narrow option. What if I'm cross with you, hm, but still have need to jolt you awake? A kiss would send the wrong message straight out the gate.
[ it's an idealist's explanation. it's sunny and it's sweet and it's a lot of things, but peggy knows it won't be the one she follows through with in the end. should the day arise. and, doubtless, it would.
but that's alright. peggy doesn't fear arguing with him. arguing with steve doesn't make her heartsick the way imagining him gone does. ]
And what about you, eh? [ her words turn casual. warm and familiar, only for him. ] Will you be waking me up, in future, in that same fashion?
[ he seems rather charmed by the concept, but of course he does. He stretches above her and sighs, tracing a line across the hem of her shirt. The truth is, he's happy to be awake now, happy to be like this with her no matter how much he complains. ]
[ does he think he's being sly? she wonders -- and that curiosity garners him a smile, albeit muted and hidden against his temple. gentle-like, she slides a hand down his arm and tangles his fingers in hers. as though, perhaps, she might halt his 'sly' progress. make an obstacle of herself. ]
And if I don't want to be woken with kisses? What then?
[ but if dared to ask directly? well -- she'd have to admit she'd enjoy it. ]
[ he sounds so cheerful about it all, biting back a chuckle as she halts his advances. he lets it be for now, traces the same line across her knuckles. ]
Give it two weeks, we'll see how you feel then.
[ TWO WEEKS, he says and without an ounce of shame. ]
[ there's no point nor merit in ever denying that part. In fact, he goes and shuffles closer, his lines against hers. Lord, he missed her. Now more than always, he hates that she had to deal with something like this for 3 weeks. ]
I knew a lot of things from the get-go. [ she answered, a little too quick. a little too honest. ] But that realization? Well. It wasn't quite so instant. It took time.
Probably because it has only become relevant a few months ago.
[ hinting that perhaps everything starts and ends with her. What's become a fact between the two of them might never hold with anyone else. It's simply something that's only true with Peggy. ]
[ and, at that, she wraps her arms around his broad broad shoulders and hugs him close. a few months ago, he says? god, she knows she would have happily cuddled him close before it -- no matter how difficult each step has been. ]
There's still a bit of trouble, I find, in remembering that a few months ago was indeed a few months ago. [ all she remembers in some flashes is home. ]
[ he agrees, his tone turning a shade more somber. It's true and is relevant to just about anyone on the fleet but he reckons time has never been their friend even before the fleet.
Steve can't help but resent this situation. It feels as if the atroma are sending tests their way to see if the foundation might crack. ]
But still, it's probably the only thing we can use in this case.
[ she grabs his hand. and, in what appears to be at first a bold move betrays itself as something altogether different when she settles his warm palm against her abdomen's scar. ]
For one, I keep forgetting this has healed up. I catch myself favouring the side of me while I walk or grab for things -- not realizing there's nothing there to favour.
[ he splays his palm above the scar, tracing it with a finger. he doesn't have a single one, himself. even the scars he had before the serum were healed by it. peggy's different but steve thinks of each one of them as a token of what he loves best about her, strong ideals and nerve to match. ]
[ she skirts her answer with care and caution. it's honest, all the same. it flirts with the edge of raw and reminds her that there is so much she hasn't told him -- hasn't dared to. some things seemed easiest not to say. ]
I catch myself forgetting you're more than merely a memory. [ but his touch helps. and so does the heat of his skin when she noses against his brow. ] And that thinking about you doesn't need to come with so much sting in every thought.
[ he shifts, stretches an arm beneath her and tugging her closer against him. He knows that particular notion, at least. His own surge of memories sent him into a reclusive mess all those months ago. She's handling the dissonance much better than he had at the time. ]
Anything I can do?
[ for him, at the time, the best cure was moments like these; her quiet embrace and her presence but he knows better than assuming they are exactly alike in that regard. ]
[ being wrapped up in him with such a tangle that she can't be certain where one of them ends and the next begins. it's precisely the sort of intimacy that would have spooked her off a year ago. it comes back to her, now, like second nature and reminds her that here is where she's meant to be.
for the time being. until the atroma see fit to spit her back out into the harsh light of home. ]
It makes sense, this.
[ more sense than the mess waiting for her back in california. ]
[ it's one of the only things that truly frighten him, the day the atroma will decide their heartbreak is much more interesting than their romance and she'll be stolen away from him or he would be from her. what was once a thought about all that could be is now very vivid in his arms. steve knows that given a thought, he would fight every battle to stay by her side, to not part from her for a single now, not now when he has a clear idea of what they'll be missing.
he remembers burrowing into her, leaning against her in his old room, on his much smaller bed and how that alone had chased away tension and pain and heartbreak. he kisses her shoulder and nods. ]
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Date: 2017-09-03 08:45 pm (UTC)[ but this is turning out to be a rather fun guessing game of a sort. He stats where he is, draped across her body, arms around her and lips once again against her neck. ]
I'm not even sure I would noticed if you will. That's a bit counterproductive.
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Date: 2017-09-03 08:47 pm (UTC)[ -- it's a bit of a desperate move. she's avoiding her recent tendency to be honest, knowing full well the answer she gives all on her own is one that will betray other things. a disregard for certain rules, for one.
better, really, if it seems to come from him. ]
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Date: 2017-09-03 09:01 pm (UTC)[ surely she can't begrudge the man one good morning kiss - all in all, he considers it a rather humble and reasonable request. ]
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Date: 2017-09-03 09:51 pm (UTC)Like that, perhaps?
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Date: 2017-09-04 03:10 am (UTC)[ he's sorely tempted to steal another but seems to know better. If he does she might accuse him ( and rightly so ) of being greedy and refuse the whole thing. ]
That's much better.
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Date: 2017-09-04 03:14 am (UTC)I don't know. [ she hems and haws. ] It seems like a terribly narrow option. What if I'm cross with you, hm, but still have need to jolt you awake? A kiss would send the wrong message straight out the gate.
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Date: 2017-09-04 03:31 pm (UTC)[ he shifts, presses a kiss to the left corner of her mouth with a rather happy grin. It's a rather good explanation if you ask him. ]
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Date: 2017-09-04 05:14 pm (UTC)but that's alright. peggy doesn't fear arguing with him. arguing with steve doesn't make her heartsick the way imagining him gone does. ]
And what about you, eh? [ her words turn casual. warm and familiar, only for him. ] Will you be waking me up, in future, in that same fashion?
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Date: 2017-09-04 05:59 pm (UTC)[ he seems rather charmed by the concept, but of course he does. He stretches above her and sighs, tracing a line across the hem of her shirt. The truth is, he's happy to be awake now, happy to be like this with her no matter how much he complains. ]
Seems fair.
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Date: 2017-09-04 06:13 pm (UTC)And if I don't want to be woken with kisses? What then?
[ but if dared to ask directly? well -- she'd have to admit she'd enjoy it. ]
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Date: 2017-09-04 08:02 pm (UTC)[ he sounds so cheerful about it all, biting back a chuckle as she halts his advances. he lets it be for now, traces the same line across her knuckles. ]
Give it two weeks, we'll see how you feel then.
[ TWO WEEKS, he says and without an ounce of shame. ]
no subject
Date: 2017-09-04 08:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-09-05 08:40 pm (UTC)[ there's no point nor merit in ever denying that part. In fact, he goes and shuffles closer, his lines against hers. Lord, he missed her. Now more than always, he hates that she had to deal with something like this for 3 weeks. ]
This is my favorite part of the day, after all.
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Date: 2017-09-05 08:48 pm (UTC)Who knew you were such a teddy bear, Steve Rogers.
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Date: 2017-09-05 08:53 pm (UTC)[ he counters at once, not really minding the accusation ( mostly because it's absolutely true as of late ). ]
You've been living with me for months now and you're the sharpest person I know. So you must have known from the get-go
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Date: 2017-09-05 08:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-09-05 09:06 pm (UTC)[ hinting that perhaps everything starts and ends with her. What's become a fact between the two of them might never hold with anyone else. It's simply something that's only true with Peggy. ]
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Date: 2017-09-05 09:09 pm (UTC)There's still a bit of trouble, I find, in remembering that a few months ago was indeed a few months ago. [ all she remembers in some flashes is home. ]
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Date: 2017-09-05 09:24 pm (UTC)[ he agrees, his tone turning a shade more somber. It's true and is relevant to just about anyone on the fleet but he reckons time has never been their friend even before the fleet.
Steve can't help but resent this situation. It feels as if the atroma are sending tests their way to see if the foundation might crack. ]
But still, it's probably the only thing we can use in this case.
[ give it time, as they say. ]
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Date: 2017-09-05 09:33 pm (UTC)For one, I keep forgetting this has healed up. I catch myself favouring the side of me while I walk or grab for things -- not realizing there's nothing there to favour.
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Date: 2017-09-06 07:35 pm (UTC)What else?
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Date: 2017-09-06 09:09 pm (UTC)[ she skirts her answer with care and caution. it's honest, all the same. it flirts with the edge of raw and reminds her that there is so much she hasn't told him -- hasn't dared to. some things seemed easiest not to say. ]
I catch myself forgetting you're more than merely a memory. [ but his touch helps. and so does the heat of his skin when she noses against his brow. ] And that thinking about you doesn't need to come with so much sting in every thought.
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Date: 2017-09-07 05:12 am (UTC)Anything I can do?
[ for him, at the time, the best cure was moments like these; her quiet embrace and her presence but he knows better than assuming they are exactly alike in that regard. ]
no subject
Date: 2017-09-07 12:01 pm (UTC)[ being wrapped up in him with such a tangle that she can't be certain where one of them ends and the next begins. it's precisely the sort of intimacy that would have spooked her off a year ago. it comes back to her, now, like second nature and reminds her that here is where she's meant to be.
for the time being. until the atroma see fit to spit her back out into the harsh light of home. ]
It makes sense, this.
[ more sense than the mess waiting for her back in california. ]
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Date: 2017-09-08 08:14 pm (UTC)he remembers burrowing into her, leaning against her in his old room, on his much smaller bed and how that alone had chased away tension and pain and heartbreak. he kisses her shoulder and nods. ]
it really does.
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