-- He tried to murder a woman over it. [ which, alright, peggy can understand the inclination for revenge. it's terribly human. ] And that woman might not be here, but it's not as though Mister Jarvis isn't in a delicate spot already what with learning about Howard's death and...
[ and that's precisely when she snaps her mouth shut and sits back up -- quick, stiff, and upset. she'd never meant to say as much. she'd purposefully hidden that revelation from steve the first time around, and not so she could just casually reveal it now. ]
Good Lord, man. Just do as I say and ask a bloody question.
[ she runs roughshod over his fear while carding fingers through her hair. there's a leading edge of panic in her voice. she knows this feeling; it'd attached itself to her conversation once before, back when they'd been on that faction-split system. the truth had come too easily then also. ]
I need to make certain of something and I'd much rather make certain with you than anyone else.
[ almost romantic, if not for the way she squeezes motivation into his hand. ]
[ were he any other man, he might have asked her about the ring but steve frantically searches for a safe topic, one he could ask of without any serious repercussions. ]
-- It's all I did at the SSR after the war. Cups and cups and carafes of the stuff. 'Marge, bring us some coffee,' all bloody day long. The smell turns my stomach.
[ quick and sharp like rifle-shot. too many details are volunteered; she shakes her head.
and yet. and yet there's so much more he could have asked, and she can't help but blurt: ] Christ, I love you.
Thompson does. Among other names. [ she huffs, shaking her head. there's a visible wince the moment the words leave her lips. ] Neither detail is something I'd ordinarily tell anyone. Not even you.
[ it takes him a moment to put two and two together before - ]
I see.
[ well that's not good at all. and just when she acquired all these new memories she's not sure what to do with. he sighs, he could kill the atroma. ]
alright. let's think - we can get through this. we just need a plan. these things never last too long. you'll need to avoid one-on-ones and then maybe we could make it work. don't worry.
[ he may not be able to go back in time and solve her gamma ray and whitney frost problem but surely this, here, is doable. ]
we'll figure something out. in the mean time, I'm not asking you anything at all anymore, until we're sure it passed.
[ and just like that, steve shifts immediately into an attempt to find a solution. or, at least, a working protocol that might see her through this time with as little pain as possible. 'we'll figure something out,' he promises her. and from another person, she might have resented the sudden appropriation of her worry and her predicament.
he tells her she needs to avoid one-on-ones; he doesn't extend that avoidance to himself. ]
You know, I'm not convinced I could be as good about it if our positions were reversed.
[ -- she'd ask questions. god, she would ask questions. ]
[ nothing is assuaged, really. but peggy manages to set the worst of it aside -- reminding herself that it is of home and not of here. even so, she remains on edge. torn between leaping back to her feet and staying seated, stiff, where she is. ]
Should work. [ she echoes him with a snort. she knows as well as he does the kind of power that puts in his hands -- the things he could be asking, discussing, investigating. not too long ago they'd sat in this very room and, as she'd scraped his chin clean of his coma-beard, he'd asked her why they shouldn't be married.
as frustrating as he'd been then, it's impossible not to understand how decent he's being about it just now. again, she thinks she could never match that pitch. ]
Ideally, it will. I'm not so keen on the idea of avoiding you altogether during the next few days.
[ he moves, gets up to reach for her tea cup and hand it back to her. ]
we'll just have to stick to subjects that are safe.
[ he walks to his table, to the drawer that usually houses the box where he keeps the ring ( these days, it's hidden beneath his undershirt ) but pulls out a notepad and offers it to her. ]
I kept notes during the week. Figured you could use them when you wake up.
[ everything that's been said of weird dreams, the departure from the planet, the re-stocking and re-ordering of the kitchen. ]
[ she's not proud of it -- but when he touches the drawer, she stiffens. her fingers contract around the tea cup. the fact that she says nothing, that she holds her tongue, is testament to how she trusts him to keep his word and play this fairly.
he mentions notes. he mentions work. and she nearly smiles at the irony that either of them should find the subject 'safe.' ]
-- You reorganized the kitchen? [ it's the first observation she makes when glancing over his notes. a report, nearly. and there's something bone-deep pleasant about receiving even a makeshift report from captain rogers once more. ]
Well, we got all these glass jars at that other planet, figured we could use them instead of some of the older tins. I went ahead and replaced them. it's easier to tell what's in them now but I put stickers on the lids anyway.
Back then -- [ she alludes to when they'd first known each other. during the war, during the howling commandos, during everything that had gone unsaid and undone and unexpressed. ] I never pinned you as the domestic type. Tidying cupboards and labeling jars.
[ her tea's gone lukewarm by now. all the same, she takes a sip. ]
[ he laughs, drops his gaze to his palms; the gesture is almost shy. she's not wrong, of course. in fact, her assessment is entirely correct. still - ]
Never figured I'll have to keep things tidy on a spaceship.
[ back then. it's so rare that they talk about these days that steve worries it might have to do with the glitch. ]
There wasn't that much to do. can't do much about dreams.
[ she imagines he mustn't have. this conversation would have gone differently -- his notes, too, would have been different. she flicks through the few pages, always impressed with the thorough nature of his work. even when thoroughness wasn't exactly merited. ]
Dreams, I mean.
[ even if he can't ask her questions, she can ask some of him. ]
[ bucky. peggy's not proud of how it takes a moment to readjust to the memories about barnes as they slot into place. oh, yes, bucky. alive and himself and then she remembers howard and... ]
-- Did any of ours?
[ ours. their crew. she's quick to claim them, no matter the state of her memories. her throat clears; she's avoiding one topic in favour of another. ]
Not that I know of. If they did, they haven't been speaking about it.
[ though he's not proud to admit he wasn't the most accessible to them during the week. his mood wasn't good and he's taken to being reclusive, as he usually does when something goes amiss in a way that doesn't endanger lives. ]
They're not all the most talkative lot -- [ she says with a waggle of her head, neither a shake nor a nod but some sort of non-committal gesture caught between the two. peggy brushes dog hair off the bedspread with a sigh and...
and, well, she thinks about the least talkative of the lot. the one who'd guarded her bedside the last time she'd been knocked out like this. ]
What about Max? Has he caused you any trouble?
[ she imagines the rest might listen to steve in her absence. max, however, is something of a particular case. ]
[ he fears she might be able to spell out the truth. he's been good at the technical side of maintaining her position, minding the network, doing reports, making sure they're well-stocked before they left the planet.
engaging with people, however, hasn't been his strongest suit. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2017-09-01 07:26 pm (UTC)[ he can't offer her any sound advice save for his own troubled thoughts of the matters ]
sometimes when we love people we spare them. I don't know - it'll happen anyway but.
[ he shrugs. he would have hidden her funeral from her if he could. he still keeps the secret of a vase full of peonies. ]
whatever happens, he'll have you for support. going through this with someone is a little easier. you just do what you think best, Pegs.
[ he smiles a bit ]
you're his best friend, here. no one knows better than you.
no subject
Date: 2017-09-01 07:30 pm (UTC)[ and that's precisely when she snaps her mouth shut and sits back up -- quick, stiff, and upset. she'd never meant to say as much. she'd purposefully hidden that revelation from steve the first time around, and not so she could just casually reveal it now. ]
Something's wrong.
[ she blanches. ]
no subject
Date: 2017-09-01 07:33 pm (UTC)[ hell if someone had touched her here, steve would have been as unstoppable as the infamous winter soldier, fueled by his anger.
he startles, moving back. her mood changes so quickly that he almost doesn't register the moment it shifts about ]
what is it? Peg?
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Date: 2017-09-01 07:38 pm (UTC)[ a waggle of her hand, whipping the air as if to encourage him. ]
Something I wouldn't normally want to answer. Go on -- quick.
no subject
Date: 2017-09-01 07:46 pm (UTC)[ he's sporting the rather frightened look he wore when she fired four bullets at him ]
no subject
Date: 2017-09-01 07:49 pm (UTC)[ she runs roughshod over his fear while carding fingers through her hair. there's a leading edge of panic in her voice. she knows this feeling; it'd attached itself to her conversation once before, back when they'd been on that faction-split system. the truth had come too easily then also. ]
I need to make certain of something and I'd much rather make certain with you than anyone else.
[ almost romantic, if not for the way she squeezes motivation into his hand. ]
no subject
Date: 2017-09-01 07:52 pm (UTC)-- why do you hate coffee so much?
[ there. safe enough. ]
no subject
Date: 2017-09-01 08:14 pm (UTC)[ quick and sharp like rifle-shot. too many details are volunteered; she shakes her head.
and yet. and yet there's so much more he could have asked, and she can't help but blurt: ] Christ, I love you.
[ because he asked about coffee. what a saint. ]
no subject
Date: 2017-09-01 08:20 pm (UTC)[ oh hell, maybe it's better he wasn't there. he can't stand it at all, not his best girl turned into a barista by a couple of inadequate jerks - ]
well.
[ he is so very confused, evidently. still, he smiles, brings her palm to his lips ]
I love you too, Peg, more than anything, really - but I have a feeling I'm missing something here.
no subject
Date: 2017-09-01 08:30 pm (UTC)[ she meets his eyes with an unhappy shrug. ]
no subject
Date: 2017-09-01 08:35 pm (UTC)I see.
[ well that's not good at all. and just when she acquired all these new memories she's not sure what to do with. he sighs, he could kill the atroma. ]
alright. let's think - we can get through this. we just need a plan. these things never last too long. you'll need to avoid one-on-ones and then maybe we could make it work. don't worry.
[ he may not be able to go back in time and solve her gamma ray and whitney frost problem but surely this, here, is doable. ]
we'll figure something out. in the mean time, I'm not asking you anything at all anymore, until we're sure it passed.
no subject
Date: 2017-09-02 01:06 am (UTC)he tells her she needs to avoid one-on-ones; he doesn't extend that avoidance to himself. ]
You know, I'm not convinced I could be as good about it if our positions were reversed.
[ -- she'd ask questions. god, she would ask questions. ]
no subject
Date: 2017-09-02 10:06 am (UTC)[ he'll just have to be careful about saying anything that might invoke any details that she wouldn't have said otherwise. ]
I just won't ask you anything. should work.
no subject
Date: 2017-09-02 11:09 am (UTC)Should work. [ she echoes him with a snort. she knows as well as he does the kind of power that puts in his hands -- the things he could be asking, discussing, investigating. not too long ago they'd sat in this very room and, as she'd scraped his chin clean of his coma-beard, he'd asked her why they shouldn't be married.
as frustrating as he'd been then, it's impossible not to understand how decent he's being about it just now. again, she thinks she could never match that pitch. ]
Ideally, it will. I'm not so keen on the idea of avoiding you altogether during the next few days.
no subject
Date: 2017-09-02 11:47 am (UTC)we'll just have to stick to subjects that are safe.
[ he walks to his table, to the drawer that usually houses the box where he keeps the ring ( these days, it's hidden beneath his undershirt ) but pulls out a notepad and offers it to her. ]
I kept notes during the week. Figured you could use them when you wake up.
[ everything that's been said of weird dreams, the departure from the planet, the re-stocking and re-ordering of the kitchen. ]
no subject
Date: 2017-09-02 12:02 pm (UTC)he mentions notes. he mentions work. and she nearly smiles at the irony that either of them should find the subject 'safe.' ]
-- You reorganized the kitchen? [ it's the first observation she makes when glancing over his notes. a report, nearly. and there's something bone-deep pleasant about receiving even a makeshift report from captain rogers once more. ]
no subject
Date: 2017-09-02 12:15 pm (UTC)[ it kept him busy for a day or so. ]
So not the whole kitchen, just all the tins.
no subject
Date: 2017-09-02 12:24 pm (UTC)[ her tea's gone lukewarm by now. all the same, she takes a sip. ]
no subject
Date: 2017-09-02 12:33 pm (UTC)Never figured I'll have to keep things tidy on a spaceship.
[ back then. it's so rare that they talk about these days that steve worries it might have to do with the glitch. ]
There wasn't that much to do. can't do much about dreams.
[ especially with her asleep. ]
no subject
Date: 2017-09-02 12:38 pm (UTC)[ she imagines he mustn't have. this conversation would have gone differently -- his notes, too, would have been different. she flicks through the few pages, always impressed with the thorough nature of his work. even when thoroughness wasn't exactly merited. ]
Dreams, I mean.
[ even if he can't ask her questions, she can ask some of him. ]
no subject
Date: 2017-09-02 12:48 pm (UTC)[ he shakes his head, reclaiming his place by her side and looking at the notes. ]
Not a one.
[ his dreams have never been pleasant but they haven't been this odd, either. a small mercy, really. ]
one of bucky's crew did, Wrath.
no subject
Date: 2017-09-02 12:56 pm (UTC)-- Did any of ours?
[ ours. their crew. she's quick to claim them, no matter the state of her memories. her throat clears; she's avoiding one topic in favour of another. ]
no subject
Date: 2017-09-02 01:13 pm (UTC)[ though he's not proud to admit he wasn't the most accessible to them during the week. his mood wasn't good and he's taken to being reclusive, as he usually does when something goes amiss in a way that doesn't endanger lives. ]
no subject
Date: 2017-09-02 01:19 pm (UTC)and, well, she thinks about the least talkative of the lot. the one who'd guarded her bedside the last time she'd been knocked out like this. ]
What about Max? Has he caused you any trouble?
[ she imagines the rest might listen to steve in her absence. max, however, is something of a particular case. ]
no subject
Date: 2017-09-02 01:25 pm (UTC)[ he shakes his head. ]
No trouble, no.
[ he fears she might be able to spell out the truth. he's been good at the technical side of maintaining her position, minding the network, doing reports, making sure they're well-stocked before they left the planet.
engaging with people, however, hasn't been his strongest suit. ]
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