ɪᴄ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴀᴄᴛ

[uprightness]

STEVE ROGERS;

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[uprightness]

on my way to you.

[ he was on the bridge, really but he makes a stop at the kitchen to get her a cup of tea. In five minutes he makes his appearance, slipping inside and frowning. ]

They're still - get off -

[ he's usually more of a dog person but it's been a trying week. ]

[mucked]

[ five minutes is four minutes too long -- even with the mug of tea in hand, although she takes it with a thoughtful glance. oh, god. seeing him makes her heart fill and she worries she might threaten tears all over again. she's on her feet and she meets him just within the doorway -- rushing him with attention as both dogs scatter into the hallway. her teeth grit; she touches his wrist before she touches the cup.

good lord, he's real he's here he's hers. ]

-- One guard dog wasn't enough? [ she asks, her voice strained. despite all the sleep she's had she looks tired. worn around her edges. she swears she can still smell the desert dust in the air and feel the too-hot sun on her skin.

she drinks the tea too fast and burns her tongue. heaven above, she's thirsty. wandering in the heat of the day has left her feeling parched and thinned out. ]

[uprightness]

They both just showed up and refused to leave. Dunno where the other one came from.

[ and he was too troubled to look into it, figuring they could solve the mystery of the dog when she wakes up. And finally, finally, some of the tension leaves his body when he sees her. He's concerned, on the verge of fretting, really. ]

You okay? I'll get you some water.

[ it sounds like she needs it. ]

[mucked]

No, no. [ she lifts the mug once more -- daring the heat to wet her throat. ] Tea'll do. Tea's great.

[ tea is bloody wonderful. and since when did he make it so well? a haze of memory jolts then, quick, into her heart and nearly pulls her to pieces. they've made a lovely little life for themselves in this room, haven't they?

oh, lord, this room. she glances around -- a touch lost as she begins to sort the new from the old. ]

Steve. [ she breathes out his name. ] Oh, God, something terrible has happened.

[uprightness]

Hey -

[ he's only been through this one time in the past but that one time had left him drained for weeks and weeks. Coming back here and realizing he didn't need to bury his love alongside her had left him without words.

He takes the cup, places it on the nearby table and wraps her in a long, steady embrace. ]

Tell me.

[mucked]

[ she shouldn't. ordinarily, she wouldn't. but the blessed relief of his hug (she leans into it; nosing her face against the crook of his neck) coupled with some glitch deep within her augment forces the truth onto her tongue. ]

It's Whitney Frost. [ peggy hasn't spoken much about this, about what she's been doing back home, about the case she's been working. ] It's Jason Wilkes. It's --

Christ. It's Ana. [ she lifts her head and digs trembling fingers into his sides. ] She was shot.

[uprightness]

[ it's a mess of names and one tragic detail. Steve frowns, rubs a hand up and down her back and nods. ]

We'll work through it one detail at a time, it'll fall into place. Give yourself a minute.

[ he presses his lips to her forehead. ]

You've been out for about a week.

[mucked]

[ one detail at a time, he says. and perhaps it betrays a great deal about how tightly wound her memories have left her because she shoots a devastating glare up at steve -- she's still lost in the fight-or-flight mayhem of the desert. her anger is only a hair's breadth from her sorrow.

jarvis, she thinks. poor poor bloody jarvis. and ana. ana. in the heat of the moment, she tries to pull away. she needs to pace. ]

A week? [ a week. it feels like just barely a week passed back home, and yet it all fell apart. dottie, the party, the desert. everything comes back to the desert and she feels sun-sick. ] That's all I remember. Maybe a little bit longer. It was July. Back home, it was July.

[uprightness]

Okay - July.

[ he lets her go, gives her some space by taking a seat on the edge of the bed. ]

Is that the last thing you remember? Her getting shot? that's the last memory they gave you?

[mucked]

No.

[ another hard word. peggy scrubs her fingers into her hair -- like trying to catch memories in her fingertips, sorting out chronology and order. ]

Whitney Frost shot Ana. And then Jarvis shot Whitney Frost. Because...well, I doubt I have to explain the why of it, do I? [ again, something she would never have babbled about so thoughtlessly -- not even to steve -- once she had to consider the optics of the whole thing.

had to consider how very truly and deeply this has all been her fault. ]

But the last thing I remember is some hours beyond that. We were stuck in the desert. No ride. No back-up, to boot. The SSR is rotten to its core, Steve.

[ she doesn't sit. she walks the length of the room -- pajamas and all. ]

[uprightness]

Is she still alive? Is there a chance of her making it?

[ a wave of sadness washes over him. Is this corruption the reason she started shield? Years later, it turned out that was never what people had thought, either. ]

The desert.

[ he nods ]

I'm sorry.

[ it sounds as if her team had taken several hits ]

[mucked]

She's fine, she -- [ she's not fine. that's not the right word, not one bit. and peggy (starting to feel the weight of the glitch) doesn't stop herself from clarifying. ] She's awake, but Mister Jarvis told me there were...complications.

[ that alone is too much. peggy turns away. ] He doesn't know. Here, that is. He doesn't know what's going to happen to her.

[ and with an icy grip she realizes she's going to have to tell him. ]

[uprightness]

[ he gets up, places both hands on her shoulder. He has never quite seen her like this and it troubles him. ]

Okay. One thing at a time . We'll figure it out. She's fine, there's that. That woman - she's not here. You told me it takes for those memories to sort themselves out. Let's give it another hour. Your memories from here - they're clear?

[ he still remembers atroma taking wanda's memories, holding her in his arms when they finally rushed back. ]

[mucked]

[ one thing at a time, he prompts her once more, and this time she swallows the caution with better grace. steve's right; whitney frost isn't here. shouldn't be here. that wicked genius, twisted by zero matter and heaven knows what else, is far from this room and this ship and this fleet. but the consequences of her villainy settle heavy on peggy's shoulders.

she tries to follow her own advice when he offers it. ]

I remember you. [ clear as crystal. him, his touch, his laughter, his smile -- although she knows it's far away just now. peggy remembers his kiss and she feels guilty, knowing barely a days 'earlier' she'd been enjoying someone else's. those memories feel too close. ] I remember us.

[ she's eager to reassure him on that count, at least. ]

[uprightness]

It's been weird lately.

[ which is mainly why he asked. a part of him does relax at her reassurance, however. it would fit atroma to give her back with a kaleidoscope of memories, some missing, some unclear. ]

there's been all sorts of talk. weird dreams. I think atroma have been accessing people's minds again, making them see and hear things.

[mucked]

[ the atroma. she'd been quick to remember him, to remember what he means to her and how he means it here, but the larger picture slides into focus only when he prompts its reminder. her lip curls. hell back home; hell here.

well. hell, with generous slices of heaven. she does seem to be breathing easier when she at long last manages to look at him for more than a few seconds. has he always been this devastatingly handsome? or is this just absence making her heart all the fonder. there's no hiding the affection she holds for him, no matter how dire the rest of the conversation. ]

There's nothing new in that. [ is there? isn't there? she gives her head a shake. ] But I suppose I can't prove I'm unaffected. See and hear things like what?

[uprightness]

Can't say, didn't happen to me. From what I've been hearing on the network, nothing good. people waking up feeling like screaming, fire, feeling despair, something about a world dying.

[ it's clear that for a change, he hasn't gone out to talk to people. he's been listening, following, reading, making notes, nothing beyond that. it's been a week and steve knew he wasn't in any position to offer comfort to anyone. ]

the usual, it would seem.

[mucked]

[ it's layer on layer. bad upon bad. problems roil still in her stomach -- she scrubs her palm across her chin and shakes her head and she tries not to think about the obvious meaning behind steve's distant description. he's kept himself aloof from the problem. he's been distracted.

and it's this realization that has her giving in and going to him -- sitting beside him and offering her hand. so much as she'd done for jarvis, sitting and waiting in the hospital during ana's surgery. ]

I'm sorry. [ she rarely apologizes. and never lightly. but she feels it now -- guilt and restlessness and she remembers what agony it had been waiting on him while he'd been asleep. ]

[uprightness]

[ i'm fine, that was the mantra only no one really bought it. instead, there was hermione and there was natasha and bucky and they kept him more or less focused. but in the wake of nightly terrors, steve would pace much like she had done, worrying about atroma tormenting her with the same images.

as it turns out, his assumption wasn't entirely far-fetched - it simply include different horrors. he takes her hand in his. ]

none of it was your fault. somehow these things always happen at the same time.

[ he sighs and looks at her ]

I know I can't solve this one for you, but if there's anything I can do.

[ he nods. just say the word isn't said but is heavily implied. ]

[mucked]

-- You could try coming out of the ice a few decades early.

[ she means to make a joke. it falls flat when she feels its sting, and finds herself missing some elemental piece of their easy familiarity. her fresh memories make the grief that much sharper.

but his hand in hers helps. their fingers lace. ]

[uprightness]

Believe me, I would have done it years ago if I knew how.

[ he smiles but the confession is rather telling. there doesn't seem to be a conflict of any sort between the world he left and the world he woke up at, none at all. in truth, steve always knew home was a concept he lost somewhere between the ice and the 21st century. ]

I'm not that good at science, though.

[mucked]

More's the pity.

[ mercenary, maybe. but she doesn't mind admitting (it seems) that she wishes she could have him instead of the future holding him hostage. it's got big problems; he's a big solution. still, she covets him. enough to keep his coordinates in her memory and -- yes, with a breath of relief -- she realizes she remembers those too.

luckily, the conversation skirts the very edge of her having to admit to knowing them. ]

I'm afraid there's not much to be done. Whitney Frost must be stopped: that's all. Easier said than done, considering Jarvis shot her at what was as good as point blank range and she still got up again.

[uprightness]

Everyone has a weakness. Even that woman.

[ even those who seem to be quite beyond anything human. steve thinks of the winter soldier and the hulk and gives her hand a reassuring squeeze. ]

It's just a matter of finding it but there's something. there's always something.

[ he hums, considering it ]

you'll figure it out. maybe it's not as likely as shooting her but something will stop her.

[ lord, he's rather happy it's one problem that doesn't haunt these halls. ]

[mucked]

Our only lead is -- oh, hell, what did Samberly call it. [ a click of her fingers. ] Gamma radiation. Howard sent through designs for a cannon that could shoot the stuff at...

[ she trails off, rubbing the bridge of her nose. ] The science isn't my strongest suit either, I'm afraid.

[uprightness]

He wants to shoot Gamma rays?

[ steve turns, sharp and startled. he can't blame the man, it's howard stark's son who would meet the result of gamma rays but still. ]

if that thing somehow ends up here in any way, we gotta destroy it. He shouldn't - gamma radiation isn't really something one should mess with.

[ never mind shoot out of a cannon ]

it might make her stronger if she's anywhere near it.

[ in a horrible, horrible way. ]